Okay, so I may be five years behind everything that has happened on the internet, my writers are horrible, my comedic delivery is awful, I'm ugly, but at least...I dunno. I got nothin'.So, as you might have guessed, I am here today to talk to you about the best videogames based on the wild wild west to ever come out. Not the Will Smith movie Wild Wild West mind you, though if you thought the Red Dead games were based on that movie I would ask you where was the giant spider machine battle hmmm? Cause that would be the only re-deeming quality to a game based on that movie. I would also ask how you are reading this, because I would imagine the force must be strong with you, and by force I mean re-tard.
Luke, why aren't you wearing your safety helmet?
Luke, why aren't you wearing your safety helmet?I am here to tell you about a game that has such a masterful storyline that, were it a movie starring Clint Eastwood, it would be the best spaghetti western ever. Fun fact, the name spaghetti western is given to a number of western films in the 1960's that were directed by Italian directors and shot in locations in Italy resembling the American Southwest. Also, the re-ady availability of low cost spanish actors led to themes involving Mexico (Mexican Re-volution, Mexican bandits, border troubles, etc.) to be often used. There, now you can't say you never learned anything about other forms of media from me. And remember the last post I had with all the Lupe Fiasco shit in it? Good times, right? Anyway, this game has controls that re-ally draw you into the west, making it accessible yet also challenging. The dialogue also re-tains that spirit of the west and flows naturally. The characters are fleshed out without falling into the trap of being overly dramatized. I mean, this is a western dammit, not Shakespeare. We want guns and cool characters, not people going on about complex motivations for their actions.
*bang bang pow kaboom revenge blam blam ratatatata grimace* And it was awesome.
*bang bang pow kaboom revenge blam blam ratatatata grimace* And it was awesome.This game captures everything. The atmosphere, the pacing, the gunplay, the dialogue, the characters, everything is done right. For a genre as ripe with many of the things gamers love (the guns, revenge plots, cool characters, and streamlined story), it amazes me that there is only one game that has done it right. The best western game every made.
Hey you, down in front! Get out of the way!
There we go. Much better.
Pictured from left to right: Bungie, Blizzard, Rockstar, Capcom
1. The character
The best character is one who is a simple character that plays into the traditional western stories; those driven by re-venge, moral ambiguity, or western style justice. So how do the protagonists of these two games square up?
Red Dead Redeption-John Marsten: Driven to confront and bring justice to his former gang members...because the government kidnapped his family, but re-ally he has a heart of gold and he re-ally doesn't trust those government boys who are coming into the west and trying to impose their laws on these good people who are doing just fine for themselves and blah blah blah Jesus Christ shut up! He fails as a Grand theft Auto character because he has a heart of gold and I feel bad tying women to train track. Not bad enough not to do it, but still, it's awkward. Every other Grand Theft Auto protagonist has either been straight evil or at least morally ambiguous, so running over someone's grandma is an allowable behavior. But god, every moment I am being re-minded that John Marsten really is just some guy trying to do some good in the world and save his family.
I should go check out that train. There might be some orphans who need me to go pick some flowers for them for a few hours to make them feel better.
There we go. Much better.
Yes, I am talking about Read Dead Revolver, not the over-hyped, wrongly critically acclaimed, and all around terrible attempt at a true western game known as Red Dead Redemption. "But Justin, how could so many people be wrong?" I'll tell you how; a little thing I like to call the Grand Theft Auto effect. Basically, after Grand Theft Auto 3 changed gaming forever (and there re-ally is no doubt that it did) Rockstar became one of the four kings of the gaming world.
Pictured from left to right: Bungie, Blizzard, Rockstar, Capcom
Like all of these companies, in the eyes of their fans, they can do no wrong...except for Crimson Tears Capcom. That game sucked. And of course, when a game from one of these companies inevitably comes out, critics get behind them in a big way. I find it interesting to see how mainstream game critics re-act to big budget releases as opposed to how film critics react. Either game critics are much more like their audience, or they're are much more susceptible to hype that film critics. I mean, look at the re-sponse a film like Transformers got. 57% on rotten tomatoes, but it made $709,709,780. Meanwhile, Red Dead Redemption gets a 95% positive response from game critics. But whether or not it is a good game isn't what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about whether it is a good western game. So, let's talk about what makes a good western.
Basically this. I mean, did you see that? He fell right into the grave, fuckin' a.
1. The character
The best character is one who is a simple character that plays into the traditional western stories; those driven by re-venge, moral ambiguity, or western style justice. So how do the protagonists of these two games square up?
Red Dead Redeption-John Marsten: Driven to confront and bring justice to his former gang members...because the government kidnapped his family, but re-ally he has a heart of gold and he re-ally doesn't trust those government boys who are coming into the west and trying to impose their laws on these good people who are doing just fine for themselves and blah blah blah Jesus Christ shut up! He fails as a Grand theft Auto character because he has a heart of gold and I feel bad tying women to train track. Not bad enough not to do it, but still, it's awkward. Every other Grand Theft Auto protagonist has either been straight evil or at least morally ambiguous, so running over someone's grandma is an allowable behavior. But god, every moment I am being re-minded that John Marsten really is just some guy trying to do some good in the world and save his family.
I should go check out that train. There might be some orphans who need me to go pick some flowers for them for a few hours to make them feel better.
As a western protagonist, he still fails. His backstory is waaaaaaaaay too complicated. The Mysterious Stranger is fantastic largely because the lack of a complicated backstory lets you focus on his actions. A western hero is defined by his actions. But all I ever hear about is his story. Instead of letting me get to killing things and saving people, I have to ride with some npc and talk about the evil government for ten goddam minutes. Speaking of which, I feel like Rockstar might be trying to get back at the government for all the negative press by being so anti-government in this game. Re-gardless, the point is John Marsten is not a good wetsern lead.
Red Dead Revolver-Red Harlow: Okay, first off, Red? Badass name dude. So, what's his story? Parent's killed when he was young, and grew up as a bounty hunter. Now, his present and past may coincide and help bring his parents' murderers to justice. See? That is a story of a great western. Everything else is re-vealed piecemeal and not harped on every 20 fucking minutes. Honestly, that is all you need to know. Now, I'm not even gonna get started on the supporting characters. Why? Because Red Dead Redemption's side characters are all cookie cutter. The snake oil salesman, the old guy, the sheriff, there just isn't much that actually tries. Red Dead Revolver has the British gunslinger, the Native American cousin, the guy with a freaking cannon arm! These are exciting characters. They still play into the western tropes, but are re-freshingly inventive.
Arm cannons are always cool. P.S. Megaman will pwn your ass in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom.
Red Dead Revolver-Red Harlow: Okay, first off, Red? Badass name dude. So, what's his story? Parent's killed when he was young, and grew up as a bounty hunter. Now, his present and past may coincide and help bring his parents' murderers to justice. See? That is a story of a great western. Everything else is re-vealed piecemeal and not harped on every 20 fucking minutes. Honestly, that is all you need to know. Now, I'm not even gonna get started on the supporting characters. Why? Because Red Dead Redemption's side characters are all cookie cutter. The snake oil salesman, the old guy, the sheriff, there just isn't much that actually tries. Red Dead Revolver has the British gunslinger, the Native American cousin, the guy with a freaking cannon arm! These are exciting characters. They still play into the western tropes, but are re-freshingly inventive.
Arm cannons are always cool. P.S. Megaman will pwn your ass in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom.
2. Music
Okay, one name. Ennio Moricone. Who is that you ask?
I have 733 entries on IMDB...bitches.
Okay, one name. Ennio Moricone. Who is that you ask?
I have 733 entries on IMDB...bitches.
This is the face of Spaghetti Western music. You have heard his music. It has been sampled by the likes of Jay-z and many others. Like the characters, Red Dead Redemption's music just comes across as a bland attempt to meet the standards set by men like this. In fact, even worse. You can hear in the soundtrack that this is modern music trying to act like western music, and that is just kind of sad. It's like my ten year old brother trying to trash talk with people online on Halo 3. It just doesn't fit and comes across and awkward. Re-ally, just go to YouTube and listen to the soundtracks to the re-spective games. The proof is in the pudding.
It's okay m'am. I'm a detective. I'll need to take your pudding into custody to conduct my investigation.
It's okay m'am. I'm a detective. I'll need to take your pudding into custody to conduct my investigation.
3. Pacing
Oh lord, where do I start. Westerns, just like any primarily film based genre, need to have an entertaining yet succinct story. Red Dead Revolver played smoothly. I would play it for hours and not even notice. Everything flowed, and the story was always making me want to play just that few more minutes. And as much as I harp on a clean, uninterrupted story, the fact that there were several side missions only tenuously related to the revenge story were a short but welcome change of pace. At the end of the day, I felt that every moment was an essential part of the gaming experience and that it all meshed well with the story, like a perfectly executed dinner theater.
Gonna be honest. I just look for excuses to post pictures of food.
Oh lord, where do I start. Westerns, just like any primarily film based genre, need to have an entertaining yet succinct story. Red Dead Revolver played smoothly. I would play it for hours and not even notice. Everything flowed, and the story was always making me want to play just that few more minutes. And as much as I harp on a clean, uninterrupted story, the fact that there were several side missions only tenuously related to the revenge story were a short but welcome change of pace. At the end of the day, I felt that every moment was an essential part of the gaming experience and that it all meshed well with the story, like a perfectly executed dinner theater.
Gonna be honest. I just look for excuses to post pictures of food.
The problem with Red Dead Redemption is that it's just Grand Theft Auto, and Grand Theft Auto games are all about the sidequests and item collection. There is no way to balance a western story with a sidequest involving collecting fucking flowers for an old guy so he can give his arthritic wife a nice gift. But you know what the best part of Grand Theft Auto games are? Driving to nowhere and killing people along the way. You know what the worst part of Red Dead Redemption is? Trying to do the same thing and realizing there isn't a goddam thing out there. You ride through empty wastelands for 15 minutes to get to new towns and finally get to do something interesting. And of course, that breaks up the experience even more.
I only have one last problem with Red Dead Redemption. What is more western than the quick draw? You know, that thing based on speed? That thing where drawing quicker and delivering the kill shot is the most important thing? That thing where it makes no sense to try and fire all your bullets like they do in Red Dead Redemption?
I only have one last problem with Red Dead Redemption. What is more western than the quick draw? You know, that thing based on speed? That thing where drawing quicker and delivering the kill shot is the most important thing? That thing where it makes no sense to try and fire all your bullets like they do in Red Dead Redemption?
